Education
Perspectives on Parenting©
by Nancy Lambert Davenport
Nancy Davenport's Column:
For Richardson News 8-15-99
Copyright Nancy Lambert Davenport 1999
"Positive Role Models"
We have a young neighbor who is like another son. I often feel that panic of responsibility for him when I see him, arms outstretched, balancing along the edge of some social precipice he has found enticing. His newest challenge is nothing revolutionary but certainly a huge step in his life. He is entering high school. I want him to have challenges there that will cause him to grow in a positive way.
He was lounging around our family room recently, and I brought up this impending new experience. I asked if he thought he was ready? I grilled him about why he was not taking art - a gift he has. I asked if he was taking any class just for fun. I asked if he has been up to the high school to find his way around. (No, apparently that's not cool. You're supposed to go up and wander around lost like everyone else.) I offered to go there with him and help him find his way around ahead of time, introduce him to some of his teachers I know, practice opening his locker, etc. His eyes got like saucers until he realized I was only kidding.
I know he's got to do all this on his own -- but not completely. He's going to have to have support. Every student at that building needs someone who sees potential and encourages him or her to go for it. No one can just go there, go to class, get the homework assignment, and go home. Learning will not happen without a relationship somewhere.
I have worked with many kids, some of whom made life complicated for themselves through rebellion or other poor decisions. Others just did not have much guidance from home; yet, they managed to make it into successful adulthood. Each one had someone in his or her life who stepped in to help make the difference. Usually it was a person outside of the family - a coach, a youth minister, a neighbor, a teacher, or just a friend.
Kids need us to be a part of their lives. Every reader of this column probably has an interest in kids, otherwise you would not be reading this. The kids need you. Parents whose children have left for college are particularly useful because you have been through these experiences. Grandparents are great because you are gifted in accepting others unconditionally. Parents whose children are still in school are great because you understand that age group and their interests. Young adults are good because you are not far from having been there.
The excuse of not having access to kids will not float. Call your school nearest you. Check the newspaper-look on page 11A of last Thursday's Richardson News. Call your church. Look around your neighborhood.
Unfortunately in this age of abuse of such relationships great care has to be taken to insure that everyone is safe. Use common sense. Never be somewhere alone with someone else's child.
We cannot allow this caution to deter us from having a nurturing relationship with kids. It can be done, it is done, and it must be done. If we don't, who will? We are the ones who can make a difference. School starts tomorrow. Someone needs you to make a difference in his or her life.
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Nancy Lambert Davenport
EMAIL: ndavenport@ticnet.com
URL: http://www.nancyldavenport.com