Disabilities
Perspectives on Parenting©
by Nancy Lambert Davenport
Nancy Davenport's Column:
For Richardson News 10-10-99
Copyright Nancy Lambert Davenport 1999
"People First Terms Preferred"
My friend was close to tears when she called me. She is running the same race I am of raising a child with disabilities but is just a few years ahead of me (her son is in his late thirties and loves his job at Chick Fillet). As a result I always sit up and take notice when she is concerned about something.
She had experienced one of those "last straw" moments, I gathered. She was reading a widely distributed true story. The writer described an incident in which he was entering a building and had a feeling of foreboding. He first tried to ignore it, then about the time he thought it wise to leave the scene, he walked into a person whom he described as "mentally challenged." The writer reacted with great fear. The story went on after that, but that was the part about which my friend was concerned.
"Why would he use such a term to described someone he was terrified of?," my friend demanded to know from me. "Our children are mentally challenged. They would never be frightening to people under any circumstances." I tried to comfort her saying there were ignorant people everywhere. The word the writer was looking for obviously was "deranged"-at least I hope. If that was not the case then the writer is dealing with prejudice and is passing it on to his readers.
My guess is that he had no idea what a poor choice of words he made and how one little word can make such a difference. Because of his error, I guess I need to step up on my soapbox once again.
In addition to choosing the correct word when describing someone, most people want to be described as just that - people -- before anything else. It is called "People First" language. Anyone who has dealt with cancer would not want to be described as a cancer victim or a cancerous person but a person who has survived cancer. The word cancer comes last, the person first. Anyone who uses glasses would not want to be described as myopic, but a person who wears glasses.
In the world of disability, the People First attitude replaces labeling. We don't need to speak of the disabled, the blind, the deaf, the retarded. Instead we can use other descriptions. Friend, brother, neighbor would be nice. If that does not communicate enough information and we one must communicate a disability, then it is imperative that we say, "a person who is autistic," or "a friend who is mentally retarded," or a student who uses a wheel chair." No matter what, we can always communicate that we are people first because we are.
Kathie Snow said, "While people with disabilities and advocates work to end discrimination and segregation in education, employment, and our communities at large, we must all work to end the prejudicial language that creates an invisible barrier to being included in the ordinary mainstream of life." We can certainly start right here.
Thank you to the publications of the Arc of Dallas and TASH for ideas for this article.
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Nancy Lambert Davenport
EMAIL: ndavenport@ticnet.com
URL: http://www.nancyldavenport.com