Nancy Davenport's Column:
For Richardson News 12-19-99
Copyright Nancy Lambert Davenport 1999

• First and foremost congratulate the parents on having a beautiful baby.
• Build the parents up. Say something like, "I can't think of two finer people to raise this precious baby."
• Brag without holding back. "He has the cutest nose in the nursery." "Her hair clearly is going to be as beautiful as her mother's" "He already knows I'm his granddad. I saw him turn to me when I spoke. He's sharp as a tack.." Or simply say, "Thank you for a beautiful grandchild."
• We inevitably philosophize at a time like this. Be very, very careful what you say, and keep it simple and honest. Be encouraging. "I have a feeling this precious baby will teach us a lot and change our lives for the better. He might even give us a new perspective and help us focus on what's really important."
• Offer to babysit. Be specific. "You'll probably be on your feet by next Friday. I'll come by for a couple of hours so you all can go to the movie." Do that often.
• Become an expert on the subject of the type of disability but not a no-it-all. Ask the parent, "Would you like me to print out information I find on the internet?"
• Offer to help call other people about the news. It's hard for the parents to say the same thing over and over.
• Treat the baby as normally as possible. Avoid using "special" this and "special" that. It's a cliché. (I did not choose the title for my column.)
• I strongly warn people not to try to explain God's part in this to the parents. Let Him do that in His own time.
• Give the parents some space. Don't hover. They have things to work through that will take time.
• Personally I was most grateful when someone would patiently listen to me babble about my thoughts on this or concerns about that -- over and over again. Those were the trooper friends.

Return to  Top of Page
Return to Table of Contents
Return to Home Page