Education
Perspectives on Parenting©
by Nancy Lambert Davenport
Nancy Davenport's Column:
For Richardson News 09-26-99
Copyright Nancy Lambert Davenport 1999
"Tips On Communication With Persons With Disabilities"
Some of our more painful moments as we raised our son, Austin who has Down syndrome, were when someone wanted to communicate with him and couldn't. Conversation sometimes broke down for various reasons:
- They couldn't understand each others' words.
- The subject was beyond Austin's comprehension.
- The other person did too much talking and not enough listening.
- They asked only yes/ no questions.
- They had too high expectations of his abilities or too low.
- They gave up too soon because they were afraid they would embarrass Austin.
In their book "Communicate With Your Child," James MacDonald and Barbara Mitchell compiled a list of what people can do when they cannot understand a person with disabilities. They said, do the following:
- Wait for him to try again; he can often do better but will not if the old way works.
- Translate; give him a word or two for what you think he said.
- Play with the words that are not clear. Try to help him communicate.
They also gave these suggestions of ways someone can help a person with disabilities enrich his communication life:
- Don't insist on perfection, just keep the conversation going.
- Be sure he is getting his turn to talk.
- Avoid criticizing or saying he's doing it wrong; he needs confidence to become a habitual talker.
- Wait for him to talk, avoid doing all the talking.
- Don't talk for him.
- Reduce your number of questions; comments are better than questions.
- When he gets stuck for a word, give him one or two to keep the conversation going.
- Encourage him to look you in the eye as he speaks.
- Don't be satisfied with a quick answer.
- Discourage monologues; encourage him to take turns in conversation.
- Respond more to his words than his gestures unless gesturing is his primary means of communication.
People with disabilities want to communicate with other people as much as anyone does. They know it is difficult and often try hard to make the other person comfortable. They deal with their deficit daily-hourly, but they do not want you to give up. Hopefully these suggestions will make you more bold at your next opportunity to communicate with a person who is more like you than you might think.
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Nancy Lambert Davenport
EMAIL: ndavenport@ticnet.com
URL: http://www.nancyldavenport.com