Parenting
Perspectives on Parenting©
by Nancy Lambert Davenport
Nancy Davenport's Column:
For Richardson News 08-21-94
Copyright Nancy Lambert Davenport 1994
Parents show they care
The verbal slugfest in Plano this week is just another example of the imprecise art of parenting. After hearing over eighty speakers, mostly parents, the Plano school board voted 7-0 to end its two-year old policy of condom demonstrations in the classroom. There were many parents on both sides of the controversy. I am sure they all felt equally right about what is best for teens.
I know where I stand on the subject and tend to think people who see it differently are slightly nuts. But I do admire those other parents, even if I disagree with them, because they have strong opinions and back them with action rather than just sitting around complaining or doing nothing. Whether it is the appropriateness of condom demonstration or deciding when a daughter starts wearing makeup, parents need to have a clear idea of what they think is right and have a good reason why. Without it, our kids will float willy-nilly wherever the breeze (or a peer) carries them.
Plano trustees later that night also passed a resolution to emphasize "traditional moral values" in the classroom. I could go along with that--so long as they were my standards of morals. I have a clear idea of what I think is "moral" and my husband and I have made every effort possible to instill our beliefs in our children. My idea of morality though is quite different from many other people I know, so I am uncomfortable with the thought of a structured lesson in public school trying to define and teach morality to my child as they are attempting to do with self-esteem.
This is not the same as a teacher encouraging a student to be gentle, kind, respectful, and tolerant of other children especially those who seem different from them, or explaining that stealing and hurting others is against the law and has consequences. Nor is it the same as reading Aesop's Fables to learn laziness doesn't pay, or Robinson Crusoe, to learn that hard work does pay. All three of my children when they were young loved the story, "The Steadfast Tin Soldier" which taught perseverance. I now have three children with a great deal of stick-to-it-iveness. It may just be a coincidence, but I don't think so.
Some teachers may be avoiding the subject of character traits such as these because they are afraid they might violate someone's human rights, or not be politically correct, or because the traits are not listed in the essential elements of the curriculum. If they are, then they are in the wrong line of work. Reaching students on these subjects is part of what makes teaching exciting. (It's certainly not the salary). I don't believe teachers need a curriculum or a district policy or even a resolution to teach this any more than parents need a textbook to teach their children about right and wrong. It's something that should come naturally with the job.
In spite of it all it is gratifying that Plano School District parents are alive and well in their concern over what their children are taught as are the parents in Richardson School District. We may not always agree in our methods, and we may make some terrible mistakes which we have to correct, but that in itself is a wonderful lesson to the children -- it shows we care.
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Nancy Lambert Davenport
EMAIL: nancdave@swbell.net
URL: http://www.nancyldavenport.com