Parenting
Perspectives on Parenting©
by Nancy Lambert Davenport


Nancy Davenport's Column:
For Richardson News 06-26-94
Copyright Nancy Lambert Davenport 1994


Busy kids make better kids and happier moms

There is no greater irritant for a parent than seeing a teenager lounging around watching TV and sleeping late. I know my tolerance level is quite low in that area. I have the attitude that if I don't have time to laze around, then neither should anyone else. There is also a concern deep in my soul that a lazy kid develops into a lazy bum.

With numerous young people of varying abilities, ambitions, and ages wandering in and out of our house this summer, we set up a job list. Otherwise I knew I would resent any form of relaxation in which the various kids indulged. The list is quite detailed and was developed as a joint project by all involved. We lay around one entire Sunday afternoon thinking up all the things that needed to be done and divvied them up.

Our family has a history of job lists going back to our oldest child's pre-school days. Those early lists were designed to accomplish two things: to get my son up and going each morning for pre-school and to help him learn to read. So it wasn't really a chore list.

It read like this:

MORNING LIST
  1. Get dressed
  2. Put PJ's away
  3. Brush my teeth
  4. Make my bed
  5. Comb my hair
We had the sheet slipped under his glass dresser top and he checked things off with a marker, then wiped it off each evening. We always had some sort of little reward if everything was checked off.

As I write about this I realize that, years ago, I was one of those earnest mothers I see now in the grocery store talking about food groups to their fifteen month olds. They exhaust me when I see them. How do our children survive us?

At least now I have things in perspective. The recently created job list is strictly selfish. Although research shows that children who do chores around the house grow up to be more emotionally stable and successful adults, I don't care. I'm to the point that all I want is to make sure I don't have to do it all myself. Emotionally stable and successful mothers are important too, especially this one.

So the list gets longer and I nag less making everyone happier because of it. Maybe I'll even watch an old movie on TV this afternoon -- or take a nap.


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Nancy Lambert Davenport
EMAIL: nancdave@swbell.net
URL: http://www.nancyldavenport.com