Parenting
Perspectives on Parenting©
by Nancy Lambert Davenport

Nancy Davenport's Column:
For Richardson News 11-12-00
Copyright Nancy Lambert Davenport 2000

"Parting is sweet sorrow: Son's move signifies new era of parenting"

I have been writing this column for 11 years. My son, Austin, who has Down syndrome, was in the fourth grade at Lake Highlands Elementary School when I started.

We wrestled and gently fought for every minute he was in the regular classroom with the "other" kids. By seventh grade everyone agreed that the more Austin is with regular students, the better he does socially, physically and academically, so he was fully included.

And now he is working in a high-rise office building and is about to move into his own place - something unheard of for most people with Down syndrome a generation ago.

I feel as if the Richardson community has been a third parent to Austin. Your kids were his models - good and bad. Your teachers taught him so much of what he knows also good and bad. He would not be who he is without each of you. You have cried with me when I wrote about how tough life was for him, you rejoiced with me when he excelled and laughed with me when you saw a little of yourselves and your own children in us. This is in spite of the fact that most of your kids are supposedly "normal."

Whether your children have disabilities or not, I hope you have benefited from knowing Austin. He has, taught me so much. I hope what I have shared with you through the years has benefited you a little too.

Some of the things I think we have learned from him are:

That we have to have lists for reminders
That breakfast can be served for dinner and vice versa
That popcorn is a vegetable
That it is not the end of the world to wash coloreds and whites together sometimes
That a video can last through over a thousand watchings
That you can eat a burrito for lunch every day and not come to harm
That most people are nice
That everyone needs a plan
That inclusion in RISD does create an atmosphere for people to learn how to live independently in our community
That creativity has no boundaries
That personal strengths are relative
That we have to dream big and never, never say "it can't be done."
That the answer to "why me?" is sometimes: "Well, why not me?"
That prayer is answered and knowing God personally is easy
That when it comes to parenting:

- laughter is compulsory - patience is not a virtue but a necessity
- we should never take anything for granted
- and that eventually we ALL have to let go.

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Nancy Lambert Davenport
EMAIL: nancdave@swbell.net
URL: http://www.nancyldavenport.com