Parenting
Perspectives on Parenting©
by Nancy Lambert Davenport
Nancy Davenport's Column:
For Richardson News 05-21-00
Copyright Nancy Lambert Davenport 2000
"Opening Lines of chatter yield results"
"How was your day, Sweetie?" most mothers ask as her child gets in the car after school. "Fine," is inevitably the answer. Why do we even bother to ask?
We want to know more, but we don't want to interrogate. We wish we could just call up the teacher every day and ask how things went. Everyone gets a little frustrated with communication between parent and school, but it can get particularly frustrating when the student has disabilities which involve language.
Kim Voss, a mother in Tulsa, Oklahoma came up with some methods to help open that communication and keep it open. She points out that home-to-school communication systems only work if they meet the needs of people on both ends of the lines of communication.
They are also more likely to be used if they are quick, understandable and easy, she said, in the article that appeaared in the March/April 2000 edition of Disability Solutions.
The most important part of setting up this system is to get everyone together who is in the communication loop. Decide at that time whether the system should be a check list, fill in the blank, or a narrative.
In other words will there be a standard list of accomplishments or needs to check off, will everyone jot a quick note concerning predetermined subjects, or will parents and teachers just write a note.
At this first get-together everyone needs to decide on some parameters:
- When there is a child with a disability involved, ask what part the student will play in the communication if any. Get that commitment up front.
- Ask who will contribute information-teacher, therapist, etc. and one or both parents.
- Decide how often everyone should write.
- Find out what people want to know-daily behavior, homework, activities, etc. Try to keep it simple, so that the maximum information can be communicated in the minimum amount of time.
- Ask how this communication will look-a notebook with long narratives, some bound together forms to fill in the blank, or multiple copies of a list in a three-ring binder to check off accomplishments.
If relationships are strained between home and school, keep in mind that long narratives are probably less constructive than the other methods.
An example of a fill-in-the-blank list might contain:
- Today Chuck enjoyed:
- In class we worked on:
- Today Chuck's buddy in class was:
- Today Chuck was feeling:
- Today Chuck needs to work on at home:
- Comments from the teacher:
- Return comments from home:
For kids with disabilities, it is a good idea to put the method of communication in the child's Individual Education Plan (IEP). Otherwise there is no way to insist that the communication continue if it breaks down.
Voss points out that this tool turns into more than a communication device when used well. It is also a teaching tool.
Children learn about the calendar, learn to plan ahead, and have a bouncing off point to tell family about their day.
If the child is involved in the delivery of the information to and from home, he or she have some responsibility to enjoy.
This certainly may help parents get out of that terrible of pattern knowing so little of what is going on at school and will help teachers get that support from home they want so much.
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Thank you to Kim Voss and her article "How Was Your Day? Designing Home-to-School Communication for Your Child" in the publication "Disability Solutions" Volume 4 Issue 2, March/April 2000.
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Nancy Lambert Davenport
EMAIL: nancdave@swbell.net
URL: http://www.nancyldavenport.com