Parenting
Perspectives on Parenting©
by Nancy Lambert Davenport
Nancy Davenport's Column:
For Richardson News 02-13-00
Copyright Nancy Lambert Davenport 2000
"Teens give own advice on advising our teens"
They really said it. I have it straight from the horse's mouth. I sat around
with a small group of older teens from our church and asked them, "What
are the issues now?"
They hemmed and hawed a bit then finally said that
nothing's changed. The negative issues are still sex and drugs and violence
which are exacerbated by the media (news, movies, TV, computer) and peers
(school, church!, siblings) and parenting.
These older kids said they can see it coming for the younger kids. If those
younger kids stay on the course they have indicated, they too will go through
all the standard stuff (translation: sex, drugs, and violence).
The only way
they can avoid it, according to the older teens is "major
protection." I asked if that meant something like putting them in a box
and cutting a feeding hole. "Not quite," they said. So what's
"major protection" in the eyes of a seventeen or eighteen year old?
· Turn off the TV. Turn it on when you have something to watch "worth your time."
· Check out the movies: "Titanic" they pointed out was rated PG-13. That is with the steamy (literally) car scene and the "artsy" nudity to say nothing of a bit of the violence toward the end.
· Spend time with your kids: My teen friends warned you to do it in a cool way though. Don't lecture to them. Share yourself. Be interested in what they do. Do creative things with them. Help them exercise their strengths. Share your faith with them.
· Be involved with the educational system. When a kid gets seriously mixed up in any of the three issues listed above, they say to pull them out of that school. It's too hard to change course in a stormy sea. Look for alternatives with the kids' help.
· Set a good example. Kids are watching whether it seems they are or not. They will follow your example, good or bad, in dealing with anger, stress, and temptation.
· Know when to let go and when not to. It's a skill and a hard one to grasp but definitely a skill worth learning.
"What else?" I
inquired. "That'll do it," they said, "everything will be fine,
if you follow those simple directions."
These kids haven't been to college yet. They haven't raised any children. They
haven't even finished high school, but they nailed some of the needs of today'
s kids.
Consider what they have to say. They've been there more recently than
we have, and they seem to have some wisdom on the subject.
Return
to Top of Page